by MSR
with apologies to George Lucas

"Judge me by my size, do you?" Yoda growled. Luke's stunned silence was all the answer the Jedi Master required.

"And well you should not, for my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it binds the universe together!"

"Like duct tape!" Luke enthused.

"I cannot teach him; the boy is an idiot," Yoda grumbled.

<So was I, if you recall.> The voice of Obi-wan.

Yoda's silence was all the answer the Force ghost required. It changed the subject. <That boy is our last hope.>

"Try not to scare me. Succeeding you are."

"Master Yoda, was my answer wrong?"

"Wrong it was. And stupid."

<There is another.>

<Good thing.>

"I know! Masking tape!"

<Glowing blue. Fun, is it?>

<You should try it sometime.>

<Right now, I might.>

"Invisible tape! That's why we can't see it!"

<Challenge Vader I could. Take his job I might.>

<I cannot help you. But I wouldn't blame you.>

"Two-sided tape! You know, the kind that's sticky on both sides? Packing tape? Magnetic tape?

<Sith I am!>