To Slay Jedi

by Padawan Zol-Tan

(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

ANI: That Sith-am-I!

That Sith-am-I!

I do not like that Sith-am-I!


SIDIOUS: Do you like to slay Jedi?


ANI: I do not like it,

Sith-am-I.

I do not like

to slay Jedi.


SIDIOUS: Will you slay them

here or there?


ANI: I will not slay them

here or there.

I will not slay them

anywhere.

I will not slay

the nice Jedi.

I will not do it,

Sith-am-I.


SIDIOUS: Would you slay them

with a sword?

Would you hit them

with a board?


ANI: I will not slay them

with a sword.

I will not hit them

with a board.

I will not slay them

here or there.

I will not slay them

anywhere.

I will not slay the nice Jedi.

I will not do it, Sith-am-I.



SIDIOUS: Would you slay them

with a gun?

Would you slay them

on the run?


ANI: Not with a gun.

Not on the run.

Not with a sword.

Not with a board.

I will not slay them here or there.

I will not slay them anywhere.

I will not slay the nice Jedi.

I will not do it, Sith-am-I.


SIDIOUS: Would you? Could you?

From afar?

Slay them! Slay them!

Here they are!


ANI: I would not,

could not,

from afar.


SIDIOUS: You may like it.

Do not weep.

You may slay them

in their sleep!


ANI: I would not, could not in their sleep.

Not from afar! You little creep.

I will not slay them with a gun.

I will not slay them on the run.

I will not slay them with a sword.

I will not hit them with a board.

I will not slay them here or there.

I will not slay them anywhere.

I will not slay the nice Jedi.

I will not do it, Sith-am-I.


SIDIOUS: A bomb! A bomb!

A bomb! A bomb!

Could you, would you

With a bomb?


ANI: Not with a bomb! Not in their sleep!

Not from afar! Sith! You’re a creep!

I would not, could not, with a gun.

I would not, could not, on the run.

I will not slay them with a sword.

I will not hit them with a board.

I will not slay them here or there.

I will not slay them anywhere.

I will not slay the nice Jedi.

I will not do it, Sith-am-I.


SIDIOUS: Say!

In the dark?

Here in the dark!

Would you, could you, in the dark?


ANI: I would not, could not,

in the dark.


SIDIOUS: Would you, could you,

at the prom?


ANI: I would not, could not, at the Prom.

Not in the dark. Not with a bomb.

Not from afar. Not in their sleep.

I will not slay them, Sith, you creep.

Not with a sword. Not with a gun.

Not with a board. Not on the run.

I will not slay them here or there.

I will not do it anywhere!


SIDIOUS: You do not like to slay Jedi?


ANI: I will not do it,

Sith-am-I.


SIDIOUS: Could you, would you,

in a fire?


ANI: I would not,

could not,

in a fire!


SIDIOUS: Would you, could you,

on a pyre?


ANI: I could not, would not, on a pyre.

I will not, will not, in a fire.

I will not slay them at the prom.

I will not slay them with a bomb.

Not in the dark! Not in their sleep!

Not from afar! You little creep!

I will not do it with a gun.

I will not do it on the run.

I will not slay them with a sword.

I will not hit them with a board.

I will not slay them here or there.

I will not do it ANYWHERE!

I will not slay the nice Jedi!

I will not slay them,

Sith-am-I.


SIDIOUS: You will not slay them.

So you say.

Use the Dark Side!

And you may.

Use it and you may, I say.


ANI: Sith!

If you will let me be,

I will slay them.

You will see.

[slays Jedi]

Say!

I like to slay Jedi!

I do! I like it, Sith-am-I!

And I would slay them in a fire.

And I would burn them on a pyre.

And I will slay them at the prom.

And in the dark. And with a bomb.

And from afar. And in their sleep.

I too, I too, can be a creep!